Approach

-Be flat
-Be quite
-Be slow
-Be patient
-Take control
-Stay calm
Bismillah...

Unforeseen

Unforeseenly, my tweet has been retweeted by more than hundred tweeps, gara-gara di retweet masjo ini ^^

I Know

There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.
There's no way to take you back home.


yes, I know!!!!!
hey? what date is today? you won't even fucking care, right? Neither do I.

Disease

Gua lebih ngerasa ini kayak penyakit, yang obatnya gak mungkin gua dapetin lagi obatnya
Gua ngerasa udah gak ada harapan, maka dari itu gua mencoba gak berharap
Gua ngerasa sedih, kehilangan sesuatu yang sangat gua cinta, amat sangat gua c br inta. Udah jadi kekuatan sekaligus kelemahan hidup gua. Gue ngerasa kayak mimpi, apa bener gue dulu pernah meluk dia? Cium dia? Karena ngeliat muka dia aja gua udah ngerasa campur aduk
Gua ngerasa tersiksa setiap gue inget kenangan gua sama dia sementara dia udah gak ada hasrat sama sekali sama gua
Gua heran, gue ngerasa seharusnya gua yang sadar gua udah disakiti, diingkari, bahkan secara gak langsung dijahatin, tapi kenapa? Kenapa cinta ini nutup kesadaran gua malah dia yang (anehnya) malah sadar duluan. Loh? Gua gak ngerti, gua ngerasa kaget, kenapa kesannya kebalik gini? Kenapa seharusnya gua yang sadar, gua yang melek, gua yang heran kenapa gua segininya sama dia, kenapa dia gue anggap pantas buat dibela-belain sejauh ini. Kenapa pas gue setia, justru dihadapkan dengan pengakhiran? Ini udah hampir setahu kenapa dia masih terngiang-ngiang di benak gue?
Gue gak pernah nyesel pernah milikin dia, justru gua menyesali segala hal yang bikin gue sepertinya gak akan punya harapan buat sama dia lagi.
Gue sekarang udah mulai move on, mencoba berpikir dia bukan segalanya, berharap dia gak jadi kekuatan dan kelemahan gua lagi. Tapi gua gak bisa bohong, sampai saat ini, dia adalah segalanya buat gua.
Gua cuma mau penyakit gua ilang, dimana dia gak nongol lagi di benak gua, dimana setiap kenangan yang accidentally keinget gak ganggu pernafasan gua lagi. Gua sayang dia, tapi, ya Allah, berikan aku petunjuk agar keluar dari segala rasa sakit ini. Aku mencoba biasa tapi memang dia gak pernah biasa dihidupku.
Aku sadar ini teguran-Mu atas cintaku terhadap sesuatu di dunia yang berlebihan. Tolong, sadarkan aku ya Allah. Jika ia jodohku, maka dekatkanlah. Jika bukan, jauhkanlah namun lindungilah.

Gua sendiri ngerasa geli ngeliat keadaan gua kayak gini. Cuma karena cinta yang amat sangat, gua jadi segila dan sebuta ini, sementara dia bahagia tanpa sedikitpun gua di benaknya. Semoga Allah memberikan yang terbaik buat gua. Amin :)

Miss

I miss my beloved ANA. I miss every moment of our togetherness and wish there's another story that can be happily ever after.
I miss her warm hug, kiss, and when her in my arms. Feel like we're in the warmest place and don't want to be apart even a second. I still can't believe she ever said "Finally, I got you", such like a dream. I think that will be really "final" and she's my final love. Until she.... finalized our relationship. I miss her beside me. That's no more I can say.
I miss my sister MAD. She now is really busy. No stable communication or quality time. There's no more sharing our story and feeling. I miss when we're high schoolers once. She's easy to reach and we can exchange our moment. Slowly she gone further.
I miss MSD too. She's busy with her job now. She really had a hard time in her home, just like me, or even harder.
I miss MUI. I just feel uneasy if I talk with her frequently, because her boyfriend is my friend. I just don't want to make him feel bad, so I avoid.
I miss EP exactly before when she's being broken-hearted. She's a cheerful person and could bring me laughter bedore she changed after she's failed with her relationship.
I miss EN. She's going further after her relationship being better more and more than before. We usualy talk about our complicated relationship but I think I am the only one who has it. She is.... or was a good friend of me.
I miss CNP. She's my only one sister who always throw me promises of some help but sadly not one of them true to me. Yeah, stupid me. I'm too kind and give her time to have a good treat while she just took me like I'm just somebody that she used to know. She promise me will help me like I helped her but there's nothing. She just "I'm sorry I can't" blablabla the reason flew. I'm disappointed. I know she's busy, but don't promise sweet help that you can't. Now she has boyfriend so undoubtly she turned further than before. Well, skip her.
I miss APU. I miss my close relationship when I was senior high school. She's a lovely friend, we're best friend since junior high school. But she's gone once I graduate from high school. I thought she has a better life now.
I miss DCP. She's my first girl bestfriend ever. But I can't reach her since years ago. I don't know what happened
Why? Why all of them is female? Because I really have good communication with almost all of my bromance haha. They still can be reach. But these female..... Some changes make us further. I really miss all of them, but the first name is the who I miss the most really much even in everyday and everynight. :|

Home

Everyone said home sweet home, but I feel bitter, so where is the sugar gone away?
Family time they said, but I just feel like I'm in the someone's house. Everyone's like take their own business. Should I blame the parents who failed to build family chemistry and harmony?
Family holiday? Family hangout? Family time? Only at Idul Fitri and family gathering where we gather peacefully. I envy every childrem who can love their parents. I can't feel it. I think I just feel respect to them, as a child to parents. So where does the fault hide?
Rest is available when the rest of them is sleeping. My own time. My mood and feeling extremely unstable in my own room. Should I run and make my own new life?
June 2012, I lost my most beautiful "home" ever. I can do nothing, I have sacrificed anything but she's still a person who have feeling and right to deny. So where's my home?
Where I can find my place to lay down when I'm happy or sad
Where I can find my rest and someone who wipes my tears
Home? I wish in my future I can build my own home, better than now.
Ya, Allah, save me and my family. This isn't what supposed to be.